Endometriosis and Me.

The question was recently asked of me whether or not I felt that the endometriosis is the cause of my infertility. And had I spoken with my doctor about that. The answers simply are
1. No
2. Of course. It’s the first thing I have asked our last 4 DOCTORS.

But just to be sure I hadn’t missed something along the way, I asked my current doctor this week. And again, I got a resounding NO.

Here’s the thing – Endometriosis is still quite a mystery to the medical field. They are not sure how or why it happens, not clear on how to cure it, and it’s affect on fertility isn’t fully understood either. But – from the past 15 years of research I have done myself, there are 3 ways in which endometriosis affects fertility.

1 – Ovulation. Endo can cause a women not to ovulate because there may be adhesions or blockages in her fallopian tube. Not the case for me. I had a very unpleasant HSG done – where they force dye through your tubes – passed that with flying colors. Let alone the countless internal scans I have had proving that the egg had in fact left my ovary and traveled down that fallopian tube.

2 – Egg Quality. That’s the one great benefit of doing IVF. You really get up close and personal with all your inner workings. And it helps the doctor’s to understand better what is going on with your body. I have had 3 egg retrievals – with a total of 37 eggs viewed personally by professional embryologists. And from what they tell me – I have some fantastic looking eggs!

3. - Implantation. This is when the embryo attaches to the uterine lining and implants for the next 9 months. Sometimes scar tissue and adhesions from the Endo make the lining unreceptable for an embryo to implant. Also, a lot of women have “killer cells” because of their endo. They basically see the embryo as an infection (similar to Cancer) and attack the embryo – thus not allowing it to implant. Wanna know how I KNOW I don’t have these issues?

• Upon my initial work up with my new Reproductive Endocronologist – they did a HUGE range of blood tests on me. 32 vials worth. They tested for every disorder there is. And they all came back clean.
• I have had 3 endometrial biopsies done on my uterine lining. Yup – 3. And although the hormone levels came back a little abnormal (luteal phase defect which is treatable with extra progesterone supplements) everything came back perfect. Here’s a link to exactly what they are checking for. http://www.med.yale.edu/obgyn/kliman/infertility/dx/diagwelcome.html – it’s actually very interesting. They make sure there are certain markers in your lining which will allow for implantation. I passed this test as well.
• This is a big one people – I WAS PREGNANT TWICE. If the Endometriosis was really the cause of our problems, I would not have become pregnant, at all. We just didn’t have much luck with the 2 pregnancies. The first one we know for a fact had an extra chromosome #2 (very rare). The second one, we’re not sure but I’m willing to bet it was more of the same bad luck.

Please know that I wouldn’t drag my poor husband through all the ups and downs, and the heartache that comes with this treatment if there weren’t a chance for us. We have complete faith in our new RE. His success rates are one of the highest in the country. He wouldn’t proceed with us if he didn’t think we had a shot at this. I know of a lot of other women who have seen him through the years, and the consensus is that he is extremely honest. Why would he want to give us false hope and ruin his credibility at the same time if he didn’t think we had a good chance at becoming parents this way?

Adoption is not out of the question. But truthfully, it’s not as easy as it seems. We were referred to a domestic agency in the NY area. I left numerous messages, and they never called us back. Why would we want to continue working with an agency who doesn’t return calls? Even to get information? You have to start somewhere..... And we found an international agency, who were FANTASTIC. But the fee’s scared us. $32,000 without traveling expenses and you need to stay 38 days out of the country. It’s a little intimidating to say the least. But, when the time comes to move to adoption, and we will know when that time is, we will do it. But we need to be ready. Both of us.

Follow Up

I had just a follow up phone consult with our doctor regarding our failed IVF cycle. He said they were all really surprised it didn't work. I had a really good cycle, we ended up with 11 out of 13 blasts, which is really promising. The only thing he can think of was that my lining could have been off. Even though it looked good on the sonogram it's difficult to control hormone levels during an IVF cycle since my body is creating it's own hormones on top of what they are giving me as supplements.

On a good note, it's really promising that we have 6 blasts, and 2 almost blasts. The fact that they all made it that far means we have a better chance of not having another miscarriage due to chromosome abnormalities. He feels that we may have better success with the frozen transfer than we did with the fresh IVF. We hope he's right.

A little chuckle

So today I was checking my email and one of those flashy little animations popped up to the right for Overstock.com. I saw this image, and the first thing that came to mind was "Hey - those are some nice looking embryo's!"

These are earrings people! Diamond stud earrings! I have completely lost it! I think this is when you know you've been in treatment too long! Phew.

Silver Lining

Those of you who know me really well know that I bounce back pretty quick and try to find the positives in all this. I think I just found one.

The test was negative again this morning. My nurse just called me to say keep taking all my medication but come in on Thursday for a blood test anyway. I don't see why we need to extend the inevitable but I will do as I am told.

She then called me back to say that after they froze the 6 on the transfer day, they continued to watch the 2 that were struggling. Apparently they continued growing and made it to the blast stage. So now we have 8 frozen 5 day old embryo's. I am at a loss. Out of 13 embryos we ended up with 11 total. That is just amazing. And even more reassuring that we will have a child out of these embryo's one of these days!

The test was Negative

Sorry I haven't posted in a long time. The 2 week wait is always the hardest part for me. It's hard not to feel every little thing and think it's a sign or a symptom. The obsessing is pretty horrible.

I pretty much have felt nothing this cycle, which I knew wasn't a good thing. I had some plans this weekend and didn't want to ruin my weekend, so I waited to test. I just came home and tested, and as I suspected, it was negative.

It's just so hard to understand infertility and how God chooses those with him he blesses with a child. We have been trying to start our family for 5 years, 2 of which were with medical assistance. We were successful in getting pregnant twice, but God chose to take those babies home with him.

We are devastated of course, but time will heal our broken hearts, and we'll move on again. At least we have 6 frozen embryo's left to try with. Thanks for all your continued love and support. I don't know where we would be without all our family and friends.